When you are working with any form of counselling to improve change in your life, it requires an element of self-coaching to make the changes stick.
Psychologists have proven time and time again, when a person enters a counselling room for the first time, it is because somewhere the person has identified they need help to create ‘change’ in their lives. This can be anywhere from relationships, communication connections, self-esteem, family, behaviour, addictions, acceptance, patterning, or thoughts. This applies to all ages from children, teenagers, adults and seniors.
The work of any psychologist is not dependant on the therapy alone. You as the person in need of ‘change’, will need to embrace the fact that, ‘If I want to make real changes in my life, I will need to do some self-coaching’.
Let’s define Self-Coaching.
Self-coaching is pretty self-explanatory when you think about it. Yet once you actually go to start you may discover you are not sure what that really looks like. Let’s do a list of where to start and the order you will need to follow to implement permanent change along side the work you are doing with your counsellor in sessions.
Step 1: Identifying why it is important to change?
How often do I smile in my day?
How often do I find myself laughing?
How often do I say hi to the people I pass in my day?
How often do I stop and appreciate the things I DO have?
If you are answering sometimes or never, well the obvious answer is something needs to change in yourself.
One thing in life is for sure and that is ‘Change’!
Everything is constantly changing, yes. The difference is that you need to control change within yourself to embrace a more positive, more purposeful, more fulfilling and more joyful relationships, communication connections, self-esteem, family, behaviour, addictions, acceptance, patterning, or thoughts and other.
Along with your counsellor in therapy you will identify the blockages for the change to happen in your life and further to that you will need to ask these questions of yourself and answer them.
- What do I want in my life / goals?
- What is stopping me from achieving my goals?
- What am I going to do to implement change?
i: You will need to set goals for yourself.
ii: You will need to uncover the blockages; the patterns, the bad behaviour, the bad choices, the addictions, the negative thoughts, etc (work with your counsellor).
iii: You will need to stay focused and challenged. Start to implement short term goals of change (along with your counsellor) and consciously bring them into your thoughts on a daily basis.
iv: You will need to stay committed to your journey of change / positive change (now we have added a healthier word for our processing).
v: You will need to constantly (daily) reassess and re examine your ideas, plans and strategies (outlined with the assistance of your counsellor).
vi: You will be identifying your life values through this processing system.
vii: Write them down!
Through this first step of self-coaching you will start to identify what matters to you in your life and what you value. What it is that is important to you and what you want to spend your time and energy doing, being, having.
Coaching is about Change!
For some people change in their life comes naturally without any hesitation or deviation, but when starting to make the changes and implement their change programme it grinds to a halt or sometimes will maintain progress for some time and then will come up against blocks. This block becomes a difficult part to break through and over time with repeated attempts to break through the block we loss momentum and feel less and less able to accomplish our changes. The sad part is, without the help of our counsellor, we start to feel like a failure, start to doubt our ability to change and get what we want in our life. We then start to settle for second and third best.
When we feel we have lost some form of control over our own lives we then seek assistance or help. It is at this point you may identify you need to talk to someone. A psychological therapist, also known as a psychotherapist or a counsellor or psychologist. This is where we go to start to piece ourselves together to affect change.
Today psychotherapist or counsellors are available in various fields of support work. There are family therapy counsellors, relationship counsellors, couples counselling, children’s psychological therapists, grief and loss therapists, trauma counsellors, anxiety or depression counsellors, anger management therapists, adolescences psychologists, financial counsellors and the list goes on and on.
Look for a therapist near you, who specialises in the area of your need or several needs. Counselling @ Voxen specialises in the following fields of therapy:
- Children and Adolescence psychology
- Family Therapies
- Relationship Counselling
- Couples Therapy
- Grief and Loss & Trauma Therapy
- Anger Management Therapy
- Anxiety or Depression Therapy
- Business Management Therapy
- Financial Therapy
- Weight Loss Therapy
- NDIS Plans
The steps above and the steps that will continue to follow in the next blogs will help you (along with your counsellor working together on a regular basis) start to uncover your blockages and start to implement change with the addition of self- coaching.
Remember ‘change’ respects time and a journey. ‘Change’ does not occur instantly or with a few days or weeks. ‘Change’ takes commitment, energy, consciousness, time and the mindset of, “This is the new ME!
To Make an Appointment: Contact Counselling @ Voxen Therapist: Katherine Nelson
1970 Gold Coast Hwy, Miami, Qld, 4220. Ph: 0490 772 957 E: email@example.com
Specialising in Family Therapy, Children and Adolescence Psychology, Couples Therapy, Grief & Loss and Trauma Therapy, Relationship Counselling, Anger Management Therapy, Anxiety or Depression Counselling, Business Management Therapy, Financial Counselling, Weight Loss Therapy, NDIS Plans Supported.